PGA Tour - Sports - The Meadows Racetrack Casino

PGA Tour

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It is called an eraser.
-- Arnold Palmer

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.-- Jim Dent

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

-- Lee Travino

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. -- Don Adams

I found out that all the important lessons of life are contained in the three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing: 1. keep your head down, 2. follow through, 3. be born with money.-- P.J. O'Rourke

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.-- Buddy Hackett

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied. -- Bruce Lansky

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone. -- Chi Chi Rodriguez

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.-- Bruce Litsky

Swing hard in case you hit it.
-- Dan Marino

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. -- Lee Trevino

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.-- Lee Trevino describing how he shot one under

I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.
-- Gerald R. Ford

Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well.
-- Craig Stadle

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.-- Bob Hope

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. -- Lee Trevino

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. -- Jimmy DeMaret

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.-- Bob Hope

Arnold Palmer told me how I could cut eight strokes off my score - skip one of the par 3s.-- Bob Hope

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~
-- George Deukmejian

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez

Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backwards.-- Ken Venturi on Art Rosenbaum

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. -- Hank Aaron

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
-- Paul Harvey

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.-- Will Rogers

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